Well, it's finally happened. Our son has started his new career. He will be moving to Cleveland and will be working at The Cleveland Clinic.

All of his effort in college is finally paying off. It took him awhile, but I have to give him credit he was not going to settle for a job that was not in his field of study. Not only will he be doing something he enjoys, but he will be doing it at the #1 hospital in Ohio. That is an incredible asset to one's resume.

Now the fun begins:

Apartment shopping in Cleveland.

A new wardrobe (I don't think they would take kindly to wearing cut-off T-shirts and gym shorts in the lab). This one will be tough. He has 21" biceps and a 20" neck. Try buying that off the rack!

Moving. That dreaded facet of life that everyone dreads more than the dentist. Let's face it...moving SUCKS! Having to rent a truck. Finding out who your real friends are by asking them to help you move.

Somehow we'll get through it. It's all a part of becoming an adult. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

We're very proud of Kevin and I know he will do a great job at The Cleveland Clinic. He has to! Who else is gonna take care of us when we retire :)

OZZFEST 2005

http://ozzfest.com

My son and I attended our 5th Ozzfest on August 4th up in Detroit. It has become a yearly ritual in which the testosterone levels are high and the alcohol levels run even higher.

The amazing thing about Ozzfest isn't the fact that it is an all-day show. Oh no. The amazing thing is that I am still able to start drinking around 8:30 in the morning and continue throughout the day and then leave the concert around 11:00 PM, drive an hour and a half to arrive at home around 1:30 in the morning. That's fucking amazing !

And yet I do it because I really enjoy it. I can't think of a better way to spend time with friends and my son. When I'm 80 years old, Kevin and I will reminiesce about the Ozzfest concerts we've been to.

Like the Mastercard commercial...PRICELESS!

We came to Ozzfest with the intention of comparing it to Sounds Of The Underground. http://soundsoftheundergroundtour.com We saw that concert at Freedom Hill in Michigan. It was a new tour that featured the latest bands in hardcore and metal. The headliner was Lamb Of God. That show kicked ass. Although my son and I agreed that it could have been a little louder. We could actually hold a conversation while the bands were playing. That is not supposed to happen at a rock concert...I'm sorry. This venue gave some up-and-coming bands a chance to get some exposure. My favorite band there was Throwdown. They got the crowd to form an extremely large circle pit. It was awesome. They kick ass.

I have never seen Gwar before, but they were extremely entertaining. From the lead singer who had an enormous penis with a pig's head on the end of it, to the gallons of red and green goo they sprayed on everyone in the crowd. And yes some of it came out of the pig head penis. They didn't play a song without hacking some monster or Bush look a like to pieces on stage and then watching as the fake blood spurted from every limb into the crowd. It was fun.

I guess the thing I really like about Ozzfest is the fact that the line-up includes the new hardcore/metal bands like Arch Enemy, Killswitch Engage, Trivium as well as the pioneer bands of metal like Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, and Judas Priest just to name a few. The crowd is a unique blend of older rockers as well as the young rockers. And a few freaks as well. In fact we saw some dude with his son that couldn't have been more than six or seven (a little TOO young if you ask me). He looked so cute as a cloud of marijuana smoke encircled his little head. My son was a teenager when we saw our first show. Now he's twenty-four and physically intimidating. (21" Biceps for chrissakes!) People would bump into him and immediately apologize. It's hilarious. Take a look.

When I'm feeling adventurous and journey into the pit I just follow the boy and no one gives me any shit. Although lately I've wised up about going into the pit. I'm content to watch the show without my glasses or my nose getting broken. (See...maybe I am growing up). But it wasn't too long ago that we were in the pit up close and personal with the skinheads and neanderthals who had something to prove.

The appreciation of music is a gift I passed on to my son at an early age. When he would wake up in the middle of the night as an infant, I would give him something to drink and then put my stereo headphones on him and watched him drift off to sleep listening to Peter Frampton Comes Alive or Kiss Alive. Those seemed to be his favorites. If he started crying it normally didn't last too long because with the headphones on he couldn't hear himself so he just stopped.

These days it's not much different. I still give him something to drink. Back then it was Tang. Today it's Miller Lite or Rum. Back then he loved music. Today he still loves music...even more than me, I think. His CD collection is astounding. He'll still drift off to sleep, but only after 12 straight hours of loud, chest thumping, ear splitting, double bass pedaling, hardcore/metal/rock and roll. Wouldn't we all?

Sometimes we'll get into discussions about the new music that he listens to. Don't get me wrong. I do like some of the new music. I love the energy and the raw power. But I kid Kevin that "I just don't see any talent there". I would only acknowledge a band's talent level if they have a guitar solo in their songs. A lot of the new music is tuned down chords. This drives him nuts. So whenever one of his new bands breaks out with a guitar solo, he'll turn to me and say, "Hey Dad, there's your guitar solo". It cracks me up when he does that.

At this years Ozzfest, Tony Iommi the lead guitarist for Black Sabbath broke into a fifteen minute guitar solo during the live performance of "Dirty Women". After he was finished, I turned to Kevin and said, "Now that's a guitar solo". He didn't say a word.

Iron Maiden is on this year's line-up. I have to be honest with you...I've never been to an Iron Maiden concert. If you asked me what songs they did I could only think of one and that's "Run To The Hills". Other than that, I couldn't name another song. I gotta tell you Iron Maiden kicks ass. Bruce Dickinson sure knows how to work the crowd and keep them engaged. Here's the ironic thing...Kevin loved them. Usually he kinda makes fun of the older bands, saying how slow it is, shit like that, but he became an Iron Maiden fan that night. I guess I did too.

At the end of the day, Kevin said he liked Sounds Of The Underground tour better, but I'm going to have to disagree and go with Ozzfest. I liked the diverse line-up and the diverse crowd at the show. It isn't the first time we've disagreed...and I'm sure it won't be the last. Rock On !

IRON MAIDEN RULES !

WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF.


Alright boys and girls, it's time to change things up a little bit here at Tom's Trials. I've always wanted to keep a dream diary, but never had the vehicle to do it right. That was before I started this Blog. From time to time I will be posting my dreams for the entire information universe to see and possibly interpret. It might be fun...and it might be scary. Who knows? Dreams are your brain on vacation. It does what it wants and you can't stop it. So with that being said, here is last night's dream:

It starts on a beach toward dusk. It's me, my wife and my son enjoying a summer picnic on either a lake or an ocean, not really sure at this point. Anyway, as we are finishing up our meal, we are suddenly scared by the sound of multiple explosions all around us. I mean heart-palpitating, loud explosions. They seem to be coming from all directions. We jump to our feet and I do a 360 degree cinematic scan of the horizon. All along the horizon are fire-engulfed mushroom clouds. There isn't a spot where I don't see one. I have only one thought:

END OF THE WORLD!

As we gather up our belongings, we jump into some decrepit automobile. I can't even tell you the make and model. It doesn't start, when I turn the ignition key. It just keeps turning over, but it won't start. My son starts yelling from the back seat, "Dad get us out of here!". I keep turning the key, but to no avail. Unexpectedly, another car pulls up alongside and offers us a lift. The driver of the car is a female that I don't recognize. She has a pit bull in the car with her. At first we hesitate, but then she tells us that he doesn't bite. We get in the car and leave the beach. The skyline is on fire and we'll all waiting for the heat of the sun to disintegrate us into dust from the nukes that were detonated all around us. The traffic on the street is chaotic. We have numerous accidents with crazy drivers fleeing in all directions. It's road rage to the tenth degree. We all keep yelling at our unknown host to keep going, don't stop.
After finally making it through the city, we nonchalantly pull into a McDonald's and eat lunch. We all order Happy Meals and compare the little toys you get with the meals. It was at this point that I woke up.
I would be curious to know what this dream means, so if you come across my little grain of sand in the huge beach of the digital universe, please drop me a reply and let me know what you think.
My dreams usually aren't so vivid as this one...unless I drink wine the night before. For some reason the power of the grape unleashes my unconscious imagination.

Until next time...DREAM ON!

Another Day,
Another Dollar $



Well another day, another dollar. I wonder who originated that phrase? It had to be someone who literally despised their job. I'm not saying I hate my job ... but I'd rather be writing, playing in a rock band or some other exciting line of work that makes me come home and say "Another Day, Another Smile" :)

Now that would be something.

I have to admit to you that I am the great procrastinator. As I'm sweating my dick off training a new route salesperson in 100 degree heat, I keep telling myself to write when I get home. Change your life...be somebody! Believe it or not, but I do have a novel in the works. However, when I get home I do everything but write. I'll play PS2, listen to music, read...but I don't write. I even subscribe to Writer's Digest. This magazine is full of useful tips and motivational articles designed to get you to just sit down and write. I read this magazine, but don't write.

One of the things WD states is that everyone is writing The Great American Novel. But the majority of those people never finish it. It sits in a desk drawer and slowly ages much like the would-be writer. My novel sits somewhere on my hard drive in a stagnant digital state.
Thanks for listening to me vent. Maybe sometime in the near future (when the muse hits) I will post a sample chapter of my Magnus Opus. Until then...

Stay Tuned !

I'm talking to you !


Well what you're seeing above is my latest excursion to a local island near Toledo, Ohio called Put-In-Bay. As you may surmise from the photo, the only real reason to go to Put-In-Bay is to imbibe large quantities of alcohol. The great thing about PIB is the fact that you get to drink a plethora of alcoholic beverages. My usual alcohol consuming itinerary starts with the winery.
Heineman's Winery has a nice wine and cheese garden where you can enjoy the outdoors while you slowly lose all feeling in your legs after two bottles of the local spirits. If you're really adventurous you can sign up for the tour which also includes seeing the world's largest geode. A geode is a crystalline formation deep within the earth. This particular geode is big enough to walk inside. I recommend doing this before sampling their wine. It's a long fall to the bottom of the cave floor.
Next on the itineary is a couple of vodka lemonades at the Gazebo while listening to the delightful tunes of Westside Steve, a regular fixture over at PIB. His song list usually includes a lot of Jimmy Buffett, Bob Seger and the ever popular Jim Croce. We love Westside Steve.
The highlight of the afternoon (that's right, I did say afternoon. We usually start around noon) is The Roundhouse Bar. That's where the above picture was taken. They have a live band and serve buckets of beer. Not glasses, but buckets! The picture of me is after I emptied some beer in the nearest restroom.
Now we are feeling no pain and have no inhibitions whatsoever. In fact most of the visitors to PIB have no inhibitions whatsoever. That's why I love it so much. You can buy beads to offer to the multitude of drunken females willing to bare their breasts to you. All you have to do is ask. Everyone is walking around drunk on their ass.
Now I don't own a boat, but I hear the best parties take place along the docks where you could have up to 10 boats docked together to form the world's largest party place. The music is blaring, the drink is flowing, and God only knows what's happening below deck. I guess I can only fantasize.
Well that's it for now. If you haven't been to the Bay, and you live in Ohio or Michigan, I highly recommend it. It's a lot of fun.

P.S. Leave the kids at home :)